Lies Lies Lies - Jennifer Schecter

I’m sitting in the chair, writhing in agony. A demon, a minor demon is pinning me there, fucking with my head. Abraxas, he said. I’m abraxas, the demon of lies and deceit.

“So, what do you want to know about lies my dear?”

“I’m not a liar.” I try again to get up this time I’m flayed, splayed. I feel myself screaming. “I’ll tell you about lies. There are white lies, and black lies, and many shades of grey lies. But some lies are justified. Lies told out of kindness. Lies that preserve dignity.

“I haven’t had a single bit of work done. How old do you think I am?”

Lies that spare pain…

“35, maybe 40?”

“Everybody’s a liar dear. Look at that one, she’s about to tell her lover something patently untrue. Look at their gestures. See how they touch each other too intimately. How they avert their eyes and cover their mouths. They lick their teeth, and hold their chins. They embellish their stories with far too much detail.”

#GGARMY shoutout

A Night @TheOperaTwitter

When I read that The Royal Opera House were planning on creating an opera based around the social networking site Twitter, it’s needless to say my eyebrows were raised. I’ll admit that I’m a bit of a ‘Tweetaholic’, well, a lot of one, but even I thought they were taking the biscuit when I read their greatly anticipated plans for the show. Apparently, in an attempt to get more people involved in the creative side of opera, ‘tweeters’ are being asked to submit their ‘tweets’ online of up to 140 characters, which will then be thrown together to form the libretto of the opera. As far as I know I never saw a Facebook film in the box office, or a MySpace musical in the West End, so why should Twitter be the one to take centre stage? The site has had increased popularity within recent months, with the appeal of being able to follow celebrities such as Ashton Kutcher and Jonathan Ross, along with keeping track of celebrity feuds involving stars Perez Hilton and Will.I.Am, amongst many other famous names. But why then, did the idea to create an opera show come about? Picturing it in my mind, I see lookalikes of Ashton and Demi running off into the sunset, whilst Perez and Will.I.Am beat each other up mid song. But, I’m completely wrong, as the Royal Opera House gave the public a small teaser of the happenings in Act One, Scene One: “William is languishing in a tower, having been kidnapped by a group of birds who are anxious for revenge after he has killed one of their number.” I understand the bird theme; Twitter’s iconic logo being none other than a bird, but can that really carry a story along for the length of an opera? I have my doubts. But I suppose I should graze over the positive aspects to come out of this production. It does get younger people involved in a traditional form of storytelling; bringing their highly technologically revolved lives back down to earth for a short while to interact in some real creativity, and who knows it could be fun. Either way it makes me wonder just how much of a downhill slope Britain is on; can we really think of no better entertainment than to take one of the most popular social networking sites and mould it into something it’s really not supposed to be? Alison Duthie, head of the ROH2, warns the public to “expect the unexpected”. Don’t worry Alison; I don’t think we were going to do any less.

Conspire This...

Conspiracy theories; they’re out there. Some completely ludicrous in my mind, others slightly more viable. I’ve spent this evening firstly watching the documentary ‘Did We Land on the Moon?’ which attempts to point out various pieces of evidence arguing against the belief that man ever set foot on that large, white, circular object in the sky. What a bummer it would be if it turned out that one of the greatest events in the history of all time was one big hoax. I can’t seem to get my head around why anything like that would be set up for the public to get sucked into, but I suppose conspiracy theories are what they are because we will never find out the truth. I’d never questioned or even thought about questioning the moon landing being a fake, and I’d have gone on happily believing it really did happen had I not come across this documentary. I have to admit after watching things like this your beliefs are definitely swayed in the opposite direction, what with their biased damning evidence and the friendly voice-over guy who just wants the best for you. So with that in mind I’ll take into account the effect and influence that the media can have upon us. Nevertheless it was an interesting show to watch, and it makes me think about all the other theories out there that could be fakes. Are the government sitting back in their leather recliners laughing at us whilst stroking their white cats? Or are they snorting at how ridiculous these conspiracy theories are? The main arguments I grasped from watching this particular documentary were all very sceptical, such as why did the flag wave about when there is no air or wind in space? And why did the LEM leave no crater blast when landing on the moon? Well, all I can say is that there are tons and tons of stuff that we don’t know about the moon and space yet, so I suppose anything is possible really, and I guess that somewhere out there are plausible explanations for every argument put across in the documentary. One thing I did notice when watching was that they had about ten guys arguing for the conspiracy, and no more than two arguing against. Needless to say one of the guys worked for NASA and really wasn’t doing a great job at putting his argument out there. But then again I’m sure the editors had a part to play in that. Well of course after watching that I wasn’t content enough that my evening of researching conspiracy theories was done with, so I started watching the JFK assassination conspiracy. This one I found a little harder to grasp, as I wasn’t quite sure what the big hoo ha was about the whole thing. Yes I understand it was a terrible tragedy, but twenty minutes in and all they’d pointed out was that there was a possible second assassin involved, not just the one. Err, so? That’s not such a mysterious conspiracy to me. Anyway as it went on it got a little more interesting, with none of the doctors at the hospital ever taking an X-Ray of his brain, or doing any drawings of where the bullets had entered his body. Why didn’t they? One guy claimed that he was just so shocked by the event that it completely slipped his mind. I suppose that’s understandable enough, sort of. But still, whether you’re just a regular guy off the street or the President of the United States, the same rules should still apply. I guess one thing can be certain; we’ll never know what the truth is. Sorry if you were expecting some sort of revelation, or a new theory. But really, that’s all I got. It’s scary to think about how many lies the government might be telling us. Why can’t we know what goes on in places like Area 51? Why should things that concern the whole world be kept a secret? And why is it that just because their careers have taken them there, should that mean that they gain access to information that really concerns everyone? At the end of the day, maybe we should all just take a leaf out of Wallace and Gromit’s book; the moon probably is just a big lump of cheese anyway.

Totally Proud

Well yesterday it really did rain on our parade as we headed to Brighton to do some out and proud things. I’d like to say our spirits weren’t dampened by the mood, but, they were, so we didn’t spend as much time there as we’d have liked to. I didn’t realise how short the journey was from London to Brighton, literally took us about an hour on the train! So it’s safe to say I’ll be heading down there a bit more often in future, if not for the pride then for the beach, sea and clubs, as yesterday I saw and experienced none of that! Which leaves me to wonder what we actually DID do yesterday?? Well, there was a lot of walking, (and running, christ) some major peeing, and a lot of laughs. Then there was the train ride home. Literally that was it. Ha. But we did have fun and saw a lot of bizarre things. I think that’s the first time that chavs have walked onto a train and I haven’t felt intimated or worried; what with the gays definitely outdoing the chavs on the gay to chav ratio. I always get excited if I see a possible gay, with general whispers and points to the person next to me that goes something like ‘definitely a dyke’. But seen as there were going to be a lot of them heading to Brighton at the same time as we were, I couldn’t really muster up enough mouth muscle energy to give a full account each time I saw a girl with short hair or a guy with tight tops and a shoulder bag (major stereotyping there don’t take my word for it). So instead we had a shortened type of recognition in the form of two words: ‘totally proud’. Well it worked for us. But England weather being how it is, completely unpredictable, it rained like there was no tomorrow. For a time I did my best to stay dry; fleeting between various umbrellas in a hope that my hair would stay intact, however after a point I really lost all motivation to keep up this endeavour, and thought fuck it this is gay pride not fashion week, I’ll be gay, proud, and wet. EXCUSE the pun. It was so good to see everyone come together for a day to celebrate their sexuality, and it made me think how un-alone I really am. I knew there were plenty of gays out there, but seeing them altogether like that you don’t quite realise the amount of company you really have. The atmosphere was so chilled and you could sense the aura of happiness about people, which made it all the nicer to be around. I’m not saying us gays are friendlier than the hetero’s, but I got the feeling that it was easier to talk to random people, and that you wouldn’t get evil eyed or told to fuck off as a reply to ‘Where are the toilets?’

...Look Closer

This evening I decided to settle down with my cherry lollipop, a substitute for the Flip Pop which they FAILED to have in Budgens, boo, and watch American Beauty. I shamefully admit that it is only my second time watching it, and even more shamefully I admit that the first time I watched it wasn’t actually that long ago, considering it came out in 1999 :S Nevertheless it’s a wonderful wonderful wonderful film! And if you haven’t seen it, which I doubt is the case, then please watch it! Plugging efforts aside, I think it’s one of those films that you have to watch alone due to its thought provoking efforts; I find it utterly depressing yet beautiful and funny at the same time, and I probably experience every emotion known to us fickle human beings in just under two hours, which must set some sort of record. One of the reasons that I find this film so intriguing is the way that it differs to so many of the typical and conventional films out there. Instead of focusing on the negative things in life, its outcome highlights the fact that there is actually so much beauty in the world that it’s often too hard to take in all at once. Instead of looking at how depressing war and death is, it studies how beautiful paper bags floating around in the wind can be. Not so beautiful sounding I know, but add Thomas Newman’s “Any Other Name” to the equation and you’ll never think you’ve seen anything more mesmerising than that bag. I’m a sucker for a heartfelt narration in a film, and Kevin Spacey (MASSIVE ROBERT LINDSAY LOOK-A-LIKE DON’T YOU THINK?!) pushes all my buttons with what he says. So I thought it would be a PERFECT idea to end this blog ramble with the last lines from the film…can’t do badly for the word count either…:

“I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time... For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars... And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined my street... Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper... And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird... And Janie... And Janie... And... Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday.”

Gender Confusion?

It was a typical Sunday afternoon and I was scouting around on the net for information about lesbians when I came across this definition: ‘the sexual and romantic desire between females’. Certainly it is the attraction of females towards other females, but it got me thinking about the type of females lesbians really are. If I was to ask your average straight talker to describe to me a lesbian, they would probably say something like ‘large, short spiky hair, deep voice’ etc etc. Now of course this is nothing but a typical stereotype, but these generalisations must have come from somewhere, and they do tend to come in quite handy when trying to prove a point, as I will go on to make. We are all guilty of assuming someone is a lesbian if they fit these particular criteria, but what is the real meaning behind this look? And why is it that lesbians are attracted to girls that are all in all actually quite masculine? Aren’t we called lesbians for a reason? Looking at the lesbian couples that I have experienced, I couldn’t point out that many that are all that girly, which of course holds no problem for me, but it causes me to wonder why this is so. Surely if we are lesbians it is assumed that we like girls, the ‘lipstick lesbians’ so to speak. Referring back to the good ol’ net, they have an answer for those too: ‘lesbian and bisexual women who exhibit feminine gender attributes, such as wearing make-up, wearing dresses or skirts and perhaps having other characteristics associated with feminine women.’ Is it me or does this strike you as somewhat odd? Does this mean lesbians are supposed to be masculine? That these ‘lipstick lesbians’ are actually a rare variety of women who exist only in small parts of the world? I hold my hands up willingly to admit I must be a part of this small group of girls, and I continue to hold my hands up to say that I rather favour the girly girls, why else would I be struggling to decide upon Megan Fox or Olivia Wilde for my phone background? This same theory isn’t just relevant to women either; it can be applied to gay men too. Stereotypically gay men are more feminine than straight men; walking around wearing designer labels, taking immense pride in their appearance, and speaking with that added camp flare to their voice. And this is what other gay men seemingly find attractive. My question is why? Why do gay men and lesbian women often favour the persona of the gender they tell everyone they don’t favour? Why do they come out of the closet only to appear very much deep inside of it when reflecting on the people they take interest in? It seems apparent to me that although there are certainly couples who defy this theory of mine (here I was planning to write the names of a couple who do exactly this but I struggled greatly) it seems that we have based ourselves around these stereotypes that, whether or not we choose to like it, do exist. People don’t like to be labelled as a stereotype, but I’m afraid that often it is the case; we have been brought up around these somewhat accurate assumptions regarding the gay and lesbian community, so I wonder whether it is society that has moulded our interests to be this way? Could I go as far as to say that we are perhaps just straight people who got caught up and confused in an alternative lifestyle? I don’t like admitting these things, but sometimes you have to look at the facts. One question I have been asked a few times before that I have come to greatly dislike is this: “So which one of you two is the man?” From where I’m standing I didn’t realise there had to be one, hence the word lesbian, which I can only safely assume means two girls. Is society so narrow minded that people have come to believe that even in same sex relationships there must be one of you who is steering towards the opposite end of the spectrum? Speaking of lesbian women and gay men, I feel that I am leaving out something important which floats around the middle; the bisexuals. Of course there is a lot of stigma attached to this word; generally they can be seen to be confused, or even greedy. Speaking of bisexual women and my personal experience and past encounters, I often find that they end up with a man. And who’s to say they can’t enjoy a bit of both now and then? Who’s to say they are sitting on the fence, aren’t they simply hopping between both sides? I understand that we’re not all Tila Tequila’s of this world who will probably end up with a man. Yes, we girlie girls are all after a ‘Shot at Love’, but not all of us will look both ways for it. So, maybe the majority of us gays do have some underlying natural attraction towards men, whether we show it through our rather masculine looking partners, or by popping next door for a bit of the opposing gender from time to time. Either way, for now I’m happy to let you girls be whoever you want to be with, I’ll just stick to staring at Megan Fox on my phone. Sorry Olivia, if it’s any consolation you were a very close second.

Skater Biography #2 - Bam Margera, written for the page www.demonfactory.com/skater.html

When someone asks you if you know who Bam Margera is, the first thought that probably comes to mind isn’t professional skateboarder. Most likely known for his daredevil antics in shows such as Jackass and Viva La Bam, Margera most likely isn’t recognised as well as he should be for his skating talent. Margera was born in West Chester, Pennsylvania as Brandon, but after his grandfather nicknamed him Bam at the age of 3 the name seems to have caught on. Unsurprisingly, he acquired the nickname after his habit of running into walls; traits that would carry on throughout his life and subsequently contribute to bringing him worldwide fame and success. Margera is a member of Team Element, the demonstration team for Element Skateboards, who also sponsor well known pros such as Bucky Lasek, Chad Muska and Mike Vallely. Along with Element, Margera is also sponsored by Destructo Trucks, Speed Metal Bearings, Electric Visual, and Fairman’s Skateshop, which is located in his hometown of West Chester. What makes Bam so different to other pro skaters is that he was able to combine it with other things that he enjoyed, for example he made a series of videos for his band CKY (Camp Kill Yourself), which included skating, stunts, and general risk taking, all filmed around where he grew up. Moving onto his personal life, Margera was at first engaged to Jenn Rivell; a divorced single mother six years his senior. Despite the appeal of being her toy boy, trouble in paradise ended the relationship in 2005, with Margera filing for ‘Protection from Abuse’ after she allegedly broke into his house. He further claimed that she had expressed irrational and aggressive behaviour towards him including stealing computers and vandalising his house. But, luck was not on Bam’s side as the judge dismissed these claims as hearsay. Other interesting facts arose, such as the breakup being caused by Margera’s infidelity after rumours spread that he had slept with pop star Jessica Simpson. However, Bam seems to be getting his relationships back on track as he is now married to childhood friend Melissa ‘Missy’ Rothstein, and the events leading up to their wedding was shown on the MTV series ‘Bam’s Unholy Union’. In true Margera style, he was forced to fork out $13,000 in damages after leaving the hotel in Dubai where they celebrated their honeymoon, although he seemed fully prepared to be handed the bill, “I’m inviting the Jackass crew. If something doesn’t get broken then that’s not right.” As of today, Bam resides in “Castle Bam”; situated in Wawaset. The house has an all gothic theme, a skate park in the driveway, and 14 acres of land which I can only assume will be used for endless amounts of reckless pranks. So whether Bam Margera is renowned for his skating or for his pranks, he has certainly managed to make a big name for himself on the scene, and is someone aspiring skaters can look up to, not only for his skill, but for adding that extra risk taking flare to his tricks.

Skater Biography #1 - Jay Adams, written for the page www.demonfactory.com/skate.html

Jay Adams; Lord of the board. Together with his aggressive determination and raw ability, he has managed to become the face of skateboarding, and with that has influenced skaters all over the world who look back fondly to his days as a pro. Adams’ can be known as the archetype of modern day skateboarding, the “original virus that infected all of us”, as fellow Z-Boys member Stacy Peralta puts it. So who were the Z-Boys? And just how did they manage to create the impact that they did using a board and four tiny wheels? It can be said that they were officially ‘born’ in Santa Monica, also known as ‘Dogtown’ during the 1970s, their name originating from the team they competed with together, the ‘Jeff Ho Zephyr’ team. Adams’ was to join the Z-Boys in 1974, along with Allen Sarlo, Tony Alva, Darius Anderson, Chris Cahill, and Stacy Peralta. At first the Boys main interest was surfing, becoming known in spots like the Pacific Ocean Park and Bay Street, but with the sport being frowned upon by mainstream society, the surf community created a subculture of its own. This is when the wheels began rolling; with Adams and a few others also being budding skaters, they began imitating their favourite surfers away from the waves and created their own tricks, pushing each other to excel themselves further. Just one year later a separate skate team was created alongside the surf team, fronted by Adams himself. What was so unique about their skating was that it had its very own style; nothing like anyone had seen before, and nothing like the common upright style of trick skateboarding. Instead they had brought their surfing skills to the concrete, busting the same tricks with the difference that they had wheels this time. Adams’ and his crew had landed something new, and though neither they, nor anybody else knew it yet, were creating a revolution that would later spread worldwide, and was to gain them both fame and fortune. The Del Mar Nationals in 1975 saw the Z-Boys really get noticed, with Adams’ placing third in the contest; the first since the original skateboard haydays of the mid 1960s. Following that, they were soon to invent aerial skateboarding after the droughts in Los Angeles left many swimming pools drained, thus paving the way for Tony Alva to take his board airborne and fly over the coping itself, before landing back in the pool. It was after this that the original style of skateboarding had been replaced with the Z-Boys revolutionary ideas. But for Adams, living the high life took its toll, and in 1982, he was involved in assault resulting in a man’s death, for which he served 6 months in prison. After that, the skater was in and out of various prisons throughout the following two decades, struggling with drug addiction. Perhaps his reputation had been tarnished with his personal life affecting his profession; however it cannot be denied that Jay Adams was one of the most influential skaters of all time, bringing style, power, fury, aggression and destruction to the skate scene.

The Life and Times of Teenage Parties

To be 15 again. The younger sister of my best friend Mark is having a party and I can hear the music perfectly. You were about to be shocked then, that I could hear it from wherever I was, the sad fact being that I’m only one door away. But that’s not the point. Sitting in the bathroom listening to their topical conversations and girl’s screaming, probably being chased by boys no doubt makes me nostalgic for the days when I was that age. I can’t see them but I can picture the party now, girls parading around in short skirts and tops, lusting over boys that probably don’t really care. Boys, swooning about like they own the place, can of Foster’s in one hand, fag in the other, because they’re hard, you know. Not to mention the music. God. I admit I do still listen to some of the stuff I can hear, but at a party? No no. Just to cut in quickly and prove my point, I just heard one girl shout ‘Emily how many people have been in your bra tonight!!?’ Ahh, the wonders of being 15. Listen to me, acting like I’m a mother of two or something, when in actual fact I’m only three years older, and probably none the wiser. I still parade about in skimpy outfits, the only difference being I wouldn’t be flattered by guys staring or wolf whistling at me, in fact I hate that. Another thing I must touch upon because it’s the single most eventful part of a party is the drama. Oh, the drama. You have to love it, as long as you’re not involved, that is. For the 15 year olds one door away I can tell you now the drama will consist of who kissed who, who got too drunk and wrecked the house, who had a fight with who (over a boy, probably), who had a fight with who (over a girl, probably). I remember the innocent days of who kissed who at a party, a few years later you lose that innocence and it becomes who fucked who, pardon my French. Since when did that start to happen at parties? It becomes who could be pregnant, who cheated on who, who’s having a sex change. Well, maybe not that far. I’d give it another few years. All in all, nothing really changes, but as you get older house parties become less frequent, it’s all about the pub now; the boring, atmosphere-lacking pub. How I miss a good house party. Somewhere down the line girls favoured flashing their IDs at bouncers rather than flashing their boobs at a house party. How times change.

Bring it to the Boyle

It would be rude of me to say that I shudder a little every time I see a picture of BGT star Susan Boyle…so I’ll say it anyway. The 48 year old Scottish gem rose to fame after singing ‘I Dreamed A Dream’ from Les Miserables, shocking both the audience and the judges. As this frumpy woman waddled onstage, neither Simon, Amanda or Piers were expecting a voice like that to come out of vocal chords belonging to a woman looking like that. Neither did they expect this to be one of, if not the best performance to be seen on the show yet. Boyle certainly managed to catch the eyes and ears of viewers, even if the former was for the wrong reasons at first. She is a singing sensation, and has pleasantly surprised the entire nation, even gaining fame in America; something UK artists can only ever dream of doing in a lifetime. As I type her name into Google 15,000,000 results are found, and she even has her own Wikipedia page, securing her fame for me as deadly official. Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore have even mentioned her on social networking site Twitter, with Moore confirming that she will be flying over to the UK to watch the shows finale tonight in support of the Scottish star. And it is not only the celebrities who have noticed Boyle; she has been mentioned in both The Simpsons and South Park, two of the most popular American cartoons worldwide, making her success and fame faster than Britney Spears’ marriage. But would Boyle be this famous if her looks had matched her voice? Would people still be able to put a face to the name if they heard it? People assume that good looks can get you anywhere, yet Susan Boyle has defied all assumptions, shattered all stereotypes, and had a big impact upon people's preconceived ideas of others.